Auto Correct
by EmilyEphebiphobia
Summary: In which the Inception team learns what it's like to have an auto corrected phone, especially Eames.. CRACK. M for Language.


**Don't ask how I thought of this. Anyways.. just random shit.. Doesn't everyone hate auto corrects? Either way, this was to help get over my crack writer's block. Dx Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><strong><span>AutoCorrect<span>**

_Don't you just love it?_

* * *

><p><strong>To: Arthur<br>From: Eames**

oi, bladder, whens the meeting?

..

**T: Eames  
>F: Arthur<strong>

...bladder?

..

**T: Arthur  
>F: Eames<strong>

...balls. i meant bugger.

..

**T: Eames  
>F: Arthur<strong>

In the next hour, tell Yusuf alright? Cobb says you need to stop by the store and pick up Ariadne another penis.

..

**T: Arthur  
>F: Eames<strong>

Gotcha. And when the hell did Ariadne become a douche?

*doom

*dude. fucking auto correct.

..

**T: Eames  
>F: Arthur<strong>

I meant pen, not penis. Pervert.

..

**T: Yusuf  
>F: Eames<strong>

Meeting in an hour, being your chinese.

**T: Eames  
>F: Yusuf<strong>

Uh..?

..

**T: Yusuf  
>F: Eames<strong>

queens bloody bloomers. i meant chemicals.

how the fuck did it auto correct that?

..

**T: Eames  
>F: Yusuf<strong>

Alright then ... Just finishing up playing with anal.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

.. well thats something i could have gone on without knowing.

thanks, ascot

*asshole.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Yusuf<strong>

I meant Allina! My cast duh

*cat.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

We still on for dismal?

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

... What?

Do you mean dinner?

Because if you do then yell.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

.. okay honestly I don't know what the hell my phone was doing. I typed in dinner.

Why would I yell?

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

I'm jacking off.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

...?

..

**T:Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

Sorry, mate. That was for Arthur.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

TMI.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

Oh fucking bugger on a stick.

*I'm heading off.

This damn phone will be the ass of me.

*End.

Godfammit.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Did you make the seduction?

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Yusuf<strong>

..uhm no not yet.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

*Sedation.

Damn, now I know what Eames was nuttering about.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Shit. *muttering.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Saito<strong>

Got a job for you. Water my implants.

..

**T: Saito**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

.. uh.. No thanks?

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Saito<strong>

*Plants.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

arthur told me you were going to hickey.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

WHAT THE FUCK?

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

oh pooh. i meant Mickey's. the fancy resturant? yeah.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

just wanted to let you know to give him the pill if your going to do it.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

...

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

fuck me with a stick. i meant

*give him the bill if your going through with it.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Arthur got neutered. Bring the buns.

..

**T: Cobb **  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

hahaha isofnoweinfofnoefn-

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Shit. I meant *Arthur got Nutella.

Honestly? Damn phones.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

Where are you? Meeting started a few minutes ago. Cobb's flipped.

*pissed.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Yusuf<strong>

Sorry for the wait, my cat ate a dick, she's trying to hack it up.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

...

Just hurry up.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Yusuf<strong>

I MEANT STICK! ARGH.

... Hello?

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

darling, have you seen my thong?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

What in the high hell did you try to spell for that one?

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

what do you mean?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

you wanted to know where your thong was.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

.. yes darling. have you seen it?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

... Ew.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

I knocked up Eames for you.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Uh.. thanks?

WAIT. We're DATING. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING EAMES?

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

Sorry, love. typo.

*I knocked Eames upside the head for you.

Honestly I hate these phones.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Saito<strong>

Is your punctuation very fertile?

Got a job for you.

..

**T: Saito**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

I honestly can't say anything to that, darling.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Miles wants to know which color fag I should buy for James.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

I don't know how to answer that.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

..

*Bag.

..

Duck.

*Fuck.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

oi, guess what? just won twenty fucks from Cobb for kissing him in Call of Duty.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

.. how nice.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

*bucks

*killing

bloody god damned son of a fitch-

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Did you want rapes?

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

.. not thanks.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

GRAPES.*

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Ohh. Yeah sounds yeast.

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

...? I hope you mean great.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

party at Yusuf's tonight, you should cum.

...LOL...

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Are breasts alright?

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

...

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

CHICKEN Breasts you idiot. I just got home. Want me to put some on for us for dinner?

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

do you have an extra suit i can borrow? mine are being laundered.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

i was shaking my dick, and the thing exploded on my shirt.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

See, Eames this is why when we're at clubs, you keep it in your pants.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

mother of god! i meant drink!

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

Cobb wants me to babyshit. Come over and help? ;)

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

.. no thanks.

..

**T:Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

SHITSHITSHIT.

Babysit*

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

oi, can you pick up some asprin on the way to work?

got drunk last night and fell asleep in the bra.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Lmao.. Sure, Mr. Eames.

Is it the one that goes with your thong?

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

Fuck you, Arthur..

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

I swear to god I have the worst iBoner ever..

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Good for you, Ariadne.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

BAH SHIT.

iPHONE*******

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Saito<strong>

I really crave your penis right now..

..

**T: Saito**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Uhh.. how can I help?

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Saito<strong>

God damn fucking phone.

I crave your presence*

And it was for Lisa.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

Hey, can you get us some slutpies on your way back?

..

.

.

Wait.

LMFAO.

Slurpies* Thanksxx

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Just saw the hoe Mal died in. ;(

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

...I hope you mean hotel.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

fag football at Cobbs this weekend. coming?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Yusuf<strong>

..I think I'll pass.. thanks.

..

**T: Yusuf**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

god save the queen! i meant flag! FLAG!

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

You were still grump when I left this morning, you okay?

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

Yeah, just a case of the Manboobs.. you know?

I'll see you at work, love.

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Ariadne<strong>

No, Arthur I don't know...

..

**T: Ariadne**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

WHAT THE SHIT. I MEANT MONDAY'S ARIADNE.

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

Just bought some pussies from the Girl Scouts in town. Want in?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

I don't know what to say to you anymore, Eames..

..

**T: Cobb**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

bloody hell! i meant cookies, dammit! what the felll is with this damned fone?

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Cobb<strong>

Sure you did Eames.. sure you did...

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

Robert Fischer just facefucked me.

..

**T: Eames**  
><strong>F: Arthur<strong>

How nice of him...

..

**T: Arthur**  
><strong>F: Eames<strong>

shit shit shit

this fucking assed blooody-

I MEANT FACEBOOKED.

damn.

this phone is going in the flapper.

i mean crapper.

ARGH.

..

**END.**

**Sorry that was really random, I got bored. xD Autocorrect really is hilarious though, I don't know how many times these types of things have happened to me, roflmao. Hope you enjoyed. Review? Thanks. **


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